I'm old enough to remember Kenneth Clarke when he was Kenneth Clarke - part of Maggie's henchmen. Now of course it's 'trust me', I'm an elder statesmen, national treasure, very warm and of the people 'Ken Clarke'.
I'm also a man and like Mr Clarke, wholly ill-equipped to talk credibly about rape. But like Ken, I'm going to anyway.
God is love. Love does not insist on it's own way. Anyone who insists on their own way is unloving and unlike God. Insisting on your own way is about control, which is at the heart of witchcraft - the very antithesis of God.
Sex was given as a gift to mankind as a means of expressing that love, over and above its function for reproduction. It is at the heart of marriage and marriage is the highest picture of God's desired relationship with us.
Moreover, God endued humankind with the humanity, the self-control not to act out of animal instinct, but out of compassion, kindness, gentleness and love.
Rape is the act of someone acting as an animal, out of instict rather than the humanity and self-control God gifted us with. It is a choice to act in a way that stabs at the heart of who God is and who He has made us to be. In Jesus we see one who, although He had the right to omnipotence, chose instead of controlling to be controlled. Jesus exercised the most extraordinary self-control, the rapist seeks only to control.
Rape takes that which was intended as the joyful free giving of two people to one another and turns it into one person forcibly taking it from the other. It turns the most beautiful picture of what God has for us in relationship with Him and grinds it into the dust of mere pleasure seeking on behalf of the rapist.
Rape takes the heart of love - the ability to choose - and turns it to the most awful abuse, instead of seeking the best for the beloved it seeks only itself and controls everything else for that one end.Of course, murder takes away a persons choice for ever, but rape leaves the person living with the powerlessness, the godlessness of it.
Rape, Mr Clarke is perhaps the ultimate picture of a life given over to evil.
Catherine writes
Ken Clarke is ignorant - the problem is that ignorance from the top propagates silence. It encourages the old lie that leads to victims of rape thinking that they are stupid, that they should just get over it, that its just that they are weak, that these things happen, that they shouldn't have been so naive. But then the blame, the burden, the pain has nowhere to go but inwards.
Have you seen the silent pain of many,
whose heavy load of shame from past,
they should not have to carry
Have you seen the people who battle through each day
to keep living in this world
because of the self blame
Have you seen the way the body tries to deal,
by shutting down emotions so the pain
seems not so real
Have you seen the loss of trust when it is so abused
by people who make choices
that they are going to use
Have you seen people stopped from receiving love
because of people who have taken
what they shouldn't of
Have you seen the anger that has nowhere to go
the depression then to cope with it
the self esteem so low
But don't you see the people hiding in the dark
in silence because attitudes
subtley blame the ones so hurt...
Mr Clarke, this blog thinks you should resign.
I'll second that cat! Resign Mr Clarke! Heartfelt words thank you to both of you!
ReplyDeleteJust not so sure of this.
ReplyDeleteKen Clarke did not say rape was not serious, just that some rape was more serious than others.
Statutory rape is having intercourse with someone under 16. This can be consensual, and may even be marked by a few days. e.g the day before the 16th birthday is rape, the day of the 16th birthday is not rape.
Intercourse without consent by both parties is always very serious.
When rape is accompanied by physical violence, it becomes more serious.
This distinction does not lower the seriousness of non consensual intercourse.
This seems to be the essence of Ken Clarke's ideas.
Just because a professional broadcaster managed to bring bias to the conversation and drag Ken Clarke into controversy, it does not follow that we should follow that bias. We should always look at the facts and attempt to understand the point of view being presented.
Is rape about rules in Gods eyes??... God looks at motives...
ReplyDeleteRape does not have to be violent to be rape. Manipulation and coercion often substitute for overt aggression. But that doesn't stop the enormous psychological impact...the silence, self blame and shame. Just because there may be no physical violence doesn't make it any less controlling and abusive.
In the same way with young people; something can seem to be 'consensual' but because of manipulation or the introduction of alcohol, drugs or other pressure, the reality is far from genuine consent. Especially on someone vulnerable, the threat of violence, or the imposed authority of a person in position of trust..
This is often the case with child abuse. There is no consent, but no dissent - because the child is not able to consent, and does not have the ability or understanding to be able to deal with the situation. But it is very definitely about control and not love.
In all these cases it is in reality, rape. It is how it is received, it is how it wounds. The ‘rules’ of consent, the variations and degrees of rape are meaningless.
Rape, is rape.
Quote found on fb:
ReplyDeleteYou better give me the respect that I deserve or I'ma take it by force
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteI am quite surprised that there has been so little response to this particular blog! Is it because it is not important, irrelevant or difficult to write about?
ReplyDeleteI didn't think I would be able to comment but this failure of many people to respond, makes me feel that people just don't care about victims of rape.
I know someone who has been sexually abused pretty much all of her life in varying forms. I can hear people saying, "Well once is plausible but she must be doing something for that to happen repeatedly", because that is what she thinks too. Moreover, she considers herself a very average, ordinary, maybe naive and maybe a little stupid not to recognise the signs or try to do more to prevent it but it continued to happen. So this person deserves no understanding? I know she doesn't want sympathy but I also think she finds it a lonely world, shut up in a prison with this dreadful life sentence where she cannot communicate feelings or sometimes even identify the feelings she is experiencing.
How much better do you feel if you have been feeling low with a physical pain or problem and you can sit and share it with someone and they will think non the worse of you. This person can share with no-one so people do not understand her. She feels different, unable to make friends, has a fear of men or being touched by anyone. People probably think she has some strange reactions to situations or character traits but most, not all, of them are probably some affect of this almost continuous abuse.
I hope this maybe will help some people to read this blog again and respond in some way.