Sunday 27 November 2011

Feeling Good

Feelings. Great things aren't they? Life would be, well, dead without them. Robotic, puppet like, going through the motions without e-motions. Personally, I'm a thinker so if someone asks 'how are you feeling?' I tend to say 'hang, on let me think about that'....

I had a lunch appointment with a friend. They didn't show. I felt hurt, devalued and a bit angry. A few hours later I realised I had written down the meeting time wrongly, that in fact the missed arrangement was my fault!

But guess what? My feelings didn't change! In my head I knew the fault was mine not theirs, but my feelings stayed the same! Outrageous I know, but worse, I carried that sense of disappointment into the future of the relationship, even though, in truth, they did nothing wrong!

This got me thinking (spot the irony). I know that there are times when I think wrongly about me, about God, about others. We're told because of this tendency to 'take every thought captive to Christ'. It's so important to live out of the truth. But what about our emotions, does something similar apply?

The Bible tells us that 'the heart is deceitful above everything else'. In other words, our feelings can be a terrible basis for deciding what is true, yet often that's exactly what we do! We feel aggrieved, therefore we have been aggrieved. We feel let down, therefore we were let down, we feel unloved, therefore we are unloved. We take the feelings and we assume that they indicate truth. But what if they don't?

This is the profound truth that God has been showing me...

Emotions that are based on truth bring life and courage

Feelings based on lies kill us and our relationships. 

If this is the case we should be asking 'is this a valid emotional response to the truth about the situation?' rather than blithely believing that what we feel must be valid and therefore true.

Back to the lunch. I felt let down. I couldn't believe that this person that I trusted, who I had given myself to, could do such a thing, missing that lunch I had so looked forward to. Grrr. Oh, yeah, I had the date wrong... These feelings of hurt, anger, bitterness - all very real and powerful - that building desire to hurt them back, to make them feel as devalued as me... are utterly ill-founded and inappropriate. But I still feel them! If they came in the room now, far from apologising to them for my mistake, I'd likely throw something at them! 

What should I do? How can I reset these powerful emotions onto the right track - to bring life rather than kill relationship?

Like with untrue thoughts I reckon. Just good old Biblical basics. Confession, repentance, forgiveness, cleansing and restitution.

Right Lord, I repent / change my mind from the way I am now thinking about that person. I confess / agree with your perspective on the situation. I was wrong, it was my error not their lack of care that is at the root of the issue. The truth is they are kind, loving and my good friend.

Lord, forgive my quickness to judge, my vulnerability to the temptation to feel aggrieved. Please release me from the age old insecurities that cause me to leap to the wrong conclusion - that I am unlovely and rejectable, the pathetic and lying thought that my friend wouldn't want to meet with me and was looking for any excuse to get out of the arrangement.

Lord, cleanse my heart from these inappropriate feelings that are erupting. I acknowledge that where there is hurt, anger and bitterness, there should be warmth, kindness and joy. Please rekindle these as I choose to resist the onslaught of these false emotions.

I choose to think rightly about my friend, I choose not to be motivated by these false feelings. I choose to act in the opposite spirit - instead of hatred, I choose to think and do something loving.

Guess what? As I spend time with God going through that process, the lies are exposed, light shines in and the peace of Christ comes, settles the volcano and laughter and lightness of spirit return. And the emotions swing back in line with the truth.

Here's a song from Catherine which says it nicely:

When my feelings they are leading, they tie me up in rope
they speak that I'm a failure, alone and have no hope
I see the pain around me and it overwhelms my soul
I feel you cannot save me and doubt the truth I know

But your truth stands firm when chaos overwhelms me
in the storm of my emotions your truth stands firm to me
so,

I'm gonna stand on the truth and not all the lies,
on the power of your word not what I see with my eyes
not the whirlwind of emotion that floods me inside
I'm gonna stand on the truth gonna stand on the truth

and the truth says I am good
and the truth says I belong
for the truth says I'm a child of the king,
and truth cannot be wrong

and the truth says I am saved
and the truth says I am loved
and the truth says I am pure in your sight
All because of Jesus's love

3 comments:

  1. I needed to hear this. Thank you David.

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  2. Good thoughts on being "transformed by the renewing of (our) mind". Thanks.

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  3. I needed to hear this also....its helped me so much tonight. It washed over me and gave me peace. Ta

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