Consequences

Avid followers of this blog (I appreciate both of you...) will know that at the heart of what I believe about God is His extraordinary decision to give us real choice. Even when it hurts us, hurts the world he created and ultimately and most profoundly, when it hurts Him.

So when people speak about the woman's right to choose you might expect me to be in the vanguard, championing this cause. And in almost every respect you would be right. The right of a woman to have the same life choices as men. The right to education, jobs without discrimination. The right to be seen in every way as equal in significance, calling, gifting as men. To even think that it could be otherwise appalls me. The right of every woman to be treated as a unique individual of inestimable worth, her right to choose her life partner, her right to choose what she does with her body.

But, and you knew there was one coming, in making those free, God given choices, we have also to take into account the consequences of those choices. If I choose this partner, I am at the same time choosing not these other partners. If a couple choose career before having children they simultaneously accept the risk that they may not be able to have children in later life. If a woman chooses to have unprotected sex she risks contracting an STD and becoming pregnant.

Because God gives us these choices, I would and do fight for the right of the individual to make such choices and I would and do fight against the abuse people suffer when choice is turned into control. But along with this I want to cry out that there are consequences to our choices. I believe we all have the right to choose folly - I would fight for that right. But I will also shout at the top of my voice that it is folly.


Now I know that abortion is a complex and sensitive issue. I do not believe that abortion is always wrong, and even where I believe it is wrong, I am not saying that it is different, less forgivable than any other wrong choice. Having faced the choice ourselves as a family, I don't enter this debate lightly.

I want to stand with the individuals who on medical advice have to agonise over the decision as to whether to continue a pregnancy or not. I want to minimise and see redeemed the pain and shame felt by those who have been abused by men and find themselves pregnant. I want to stand with such women, to apologise for what has been done to them, to support them in whatever way possible, whatever they decide. And for those who contemplate abortion or have already decided through fear for themselves, for their future, for their child's future -  and carry regret or guilt, again, I would want only to stand with and demonstrate however inadequately, the love that God has for them.

What I feel I must rail against is the misuse of language that disguises the reality of the choices we make. Of the increasingly casual attitude towards sex, that early pregnancy is seen by many as being casually disposable. Much has been written about the early sexualisation of children, many have observed that pervasive shows such as Friends purvey a view of sex as casual fun with no consequences. It's everywhere, from advertising to banal QI, from the playground to the workplace. The 'morning after' pill is described as a contraceptive when in fact it acts to terminate any early pregnancy.

What we do through this is lowering of the consequences is to make apparently easier the choice to have unprotected sex. Firstly having sex outside of a committed, long-term relationship is portrayed as the norm, as comparatively trivial. Secondly, you lose nothing - if you contract an STD it's seen as a bit inconvenient, but not a disaster, almost a badge of honour - look how in control of my life I am. Thirdly, there's always the 'morning after pill' and if you missed that opportunity, well it's your body, you have the right to choose....

It breaks my heart. Because it isn't true. All our choices have consequences, some of them can't be easily undone. That isn't to say there isn't grace and restoration and hope and victory and fulness of life, but that's in the context of working through, not avoiding, the consequences.

So let's tell the truth and then let people choose.

Abortion as a casual alternative to abstinence or contraception is wrong. It isn't unforgivable, but the consequences are no less trivial than the baby that would have been the result of the pregnancy.

Sex is not just a physical act. There is an emotional and spiritual dimension. Of course it's not just for creating children! Of course it's supposed to be fun as well as intimate. But God designed it to build relationship, to breakdown barriers, to create emotional and spiritual bonds between two people. So that's what it does, whether or not the individuals believe in God or not. Untangling these involves grieving, breaking the power of the spiritual ties, dealing with all sorts of emotional baggage.

Conceiving a child means that you have to take into account someone else's rights to choose as well as your own. I know we call it a fetus to make it sound less alive than a baby. The truth is of course, that in the majority of cases, in our western world, if the mother just keeps doing what she has been doing, it will result in the full-term normal delivery of a healthy baby. Only if we intervene will that change. So no matter how early we choose to intervene the truth is we are choosing to prevent a child from ever being able to make it's own choices. Again, let me be clear, I am not saying it is always wrong, but let us tell the truth so that we can make the choice in an informed way that gives due respect to all concerned.

God gives us choice. His heart is therefore for those who have no choice, for the poor, the marginalised, the vulnerable. Surely, the unborn child must be at the centre of God's heart.

A report today (Friday) said that there was no evidence that an unborn baby less than 24 weeks from conception could feel pain and that therefore the law on the time limit for abortion need not be changed. So we have reduced the consequence of the choice on the basis that we don't think it hurts the baby. I'm just not convinced that God sees it that way.